How to help kids set New Year’s resolutions

As the calendar flips to a new year, many families take the opportunity to reflect on the past and plan for the future by making New Year's resolutions. A New Year's resolution is a promise you make to yourself to do something new or differently in the new year. When done thoughtfully, resolutions can help children build confidence, learn responsibility and foster a sense of achievement.

Sara Loftin, LPC-S, RPT-S, Clinical Therapist at Children's Health℠, shares tips for how to set resolutions with kids and how they can offer an excellent opportunity for growth.

The benefits of setting New Year's resolutions

For children, setting New Year's resolutions can provide several developmental benefits. By setting and achieving goals, kids can develop:

• Perseverance
• Self-esteem
• Independence
• Planning skills
• The ability to overcome obstacles

However, Loftin advises being cautious when you introduce resolutions to kids. Setting unrealistic or overly ambitious goals can backfire, leading to frustration or feelings of inadequacy.

"Many people set resolutions, but then don't take the actions needed to achieve them. They may question if resolutions are worth doing for them or their children," Loftin says.

Tips to create resolutions with kids

Introducing New Year's resolutions to your child can be a fun, collaborative process. Loftin offers several tips for setting your child up for success.

Tip #1: Identify your child's values and interests

Children are more motivated to stick to resolutions if they're based on their own values and interests, rather than just your own expectations.

To help identify what your child values, you might ask them:

• What kind of person do you most want to be?
• What did you do last year that went well for you?

These reflective questions can help children focus on growth areas. You can also use this values card sort or values worksheet to help your child think about what matters most to them.

To help identify some of your child's interests, you might ask them:

• How would you like to help others this year?
• Would you like to learn something new this year?

Tip #2: Make resolutions fun and meaningful

Once your child has an idea of their values and interests, guide them in creating resolutions that are meaningful to them. Loftin recommends focusing on activities that foster a sense of purpose and joy.

For example, if your child loves animals, they might set a goal to volunteer at an animal shelter. If they're passionate about reading, they could commit to reading one new book each month.

Remember that resolutions don't have to be huge, life-changing goals. They should be fun and achievable.

Tip #3: Create a family resolution

Making resolutions as a family is another great way to bond while teaching children about commitment and follow-through. Family resolutions might also be better if you have younger children.

Here are some simple, fun family resolutions to consider:

• We will have a family game night once a month.
• We will cook a meal together twice a month.
• We will put away our phones during dinner every night.

Get more ideas for healthy New Year's Resolutions for the whole family.

Tip #4: Keep resolutions visible and check-in monthly

Once your child has chosen a few resolutions, Loftin recommends displaying them in a place where the whole family can see them, like on the fridge or a family calendar.

As the year progresses, don't forget to check in with your child regularly about their goals. Loftin recommends checking in on your New Year's resolutions each month. As a family, discuss how your resolutions are going without judgment.

If hurdles prevented you or your child from progressing on your resolution, use that as an opportunity to get curious about why something may or may not be working.

You might try asking these reflection questions at your monthly check-in:

• How are you progressing on your resolution?
• How are you feeling about your progress this month?
• Do you want to keep this resolution or change it?

Celebrate wins, and offer encouragement when things get tough. The experience of working toward a resolution, and not just the achievement, is where kids can gain the most valuable lessons.

New Year's resolutions ideas for kids

These are possible goal ideas for kids. Notice how they start with “I will” (not "I won't") and have a time period attached to them.

• I will help my family cook twice a month.
• I will read 12 new books this year, one per month.
• I will write one new story to show my English teacher by March.
• I will join a new club at school this year and try it out for three months.
• I will reduce my screen time by replacing it with my favorite mindfulness activity once a week.
• I will give back to my community at least four times this year.

Alternatives to New Year's resolutions

There are also a few alternatives to setting New Year's resolutions. Some families choose an intention or guide word for the coming year instead of – or in addition to – setting goals. The differences between them are:

• Goals are future focused. Goals reflect what we'd like to be different in the future.
• Intentions are present focused. Intentions are mottos that guide you towards reaching a goal.
• Guide words are simple, one-word intentions that provide a clear theme for your upcoming year. Examples might include words like patience, change, fun or self-love.

Say your family wants to be less stressed this coming year

• A goal around being less stressed might be: "We will listen to two guided meditations per week as a family for the next month."
• An intention around being less stressed might be: "Keep calm and carry on," which is something you can say to yourself anytime you start to feel overwhelmed.
• A guide word might be: "Calm" or "Breathe."

Learn more

Read more trusted advice on how to have a healthy and happy holiday season with your kids.